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@ 2006-04-06 – 00:42:35
The rise in the number of divorce cases across the globe has become a cause of concern among young couples.
The thought of marriage makes them more anxious than ever. So much so that when they finally do tie the knot, they enter the relationship unsure if it's going to work.
But many marriages do survive. How do they do it? Will this institution has any future?
nan29
varshakale
I absolutely agree with you.
Increase in the divoerce rate should be considered as indicator of women's empowerment rather then as negative development.
Its sad that living single is still struggle with many. India is no different.
What form marriages will take if they still survives in future?
Marraige is an evolving institution - and who wants to belong to an institution? In the West there is an often painful adjustment going on as people find they need to have a fairer more equal relationship. As Nan implies women want something more now than just social status and financial security. Many here have become the main breadwinner.
varshakale
If it is evolving it will get mature some time and then...
Hopefully people can be more equal and take each others interests and hopes into true account.
varshakale
HOPE SO.
kaliyugashaktimama
Pro If we continue to view marriage as an institution, it may not survive as a concept, no. The traditional view of marriage is changing - the financial and social view is less predominant, with love marriages becoming more normal around the world.
And if a love marriage is to survive, it can never be viewed as an institution, or perhaps only regarding the couple, or family itself as the institution - the tribe, or unit that one holds most high.
Communication, respect, humour, patience and true intimacy are musts for any good marriage to thrive, in my mind (I'm on my second marriage, and learned this the hard way!)
varshakale
Yes I agree with you.
Mi-ke
Nice blogs. Infact you are the first lady whom i have seen talking positive aspects of women which really makes sense.All your blogs are simply awesome and made me THINK. Keep blogging!
varshakale
Thanks MI-KE. You look like SK.
IronicFilmReference
In the UK divorce rates are down because people know they can't afford to buy a house on their own, so they chose to stick with their partner instead.
varshakale
That means they are forced by circumstances to save their marriage rather then love. Will that means taking out soul and divinity from marriage?
eastkurd
Hi,nice blog
thanks for sent some post to my blog
varshakale
Thanks
SensualReading
Communication, respect, humour, patience and true intimacy are musts for any good marriage to thrive, in my mind by kaliyugashaktimama.
This is essential for love relationships to survive, I think without all these elements, continuation of love or a marriage is impossible
and sadly
In the UK divorce rates are down because people know they can't afford to buy a house on their own, so they chose to stick with their partner instead
by IronicFilmReference - is only too true - but without the elements of the above post, it is not a marriage or love.
...DD
waves
WELL it seems that modern day women have grossly misunderstood "femininsm " to be display of aggressive brutality .This has led to fall in their ablity to compromise .Hope better sense prevails in both the sexes if we want a better future.
varshakale
Is it better sense means women's ability to compromise waves? Does that mean that mariages will survive only if women compromise and sufer?
oak4jazz
Pro Interesting question, but as one who does not subscribe to institution but respect others who do, I am ill placed to comment. Then again, I will.....
With the equality of the sexes women are less likely to put up with, to be frank, the emotional brutality that is a character of a lot of marriages. Not to mention being stuck with childcare while men hide behind a phantom workloads.
Call me sardonic, but compromise merely leaves both parties unfulfilled.
Adult parnerships based on mutually respect and mutual life goal as well as a desire for shared intimacy (even a progeny or two) without the assumed predisposition of longevity on the other hand......
varshakale
Everything you said have sense and depth. Yes newer forms of relationships can emerge and are emerging in the wake of decline of sort this institution of marriage is facing.
Thanks for your response.
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I agree with you Varsha that the number of divorce is getting higher recently, including in Indonesia. One main cause, I suppose, is that more and more women realize that they have full right on their own life, and the belief that they can survive without men. With more women financially independent, they feel that they have bigger bargain before their husbands, so when they feel oppressed, they no longer feel hesitant to file a divorce.
to live single belongs to THE OTHER, or THE MARGINALIZED)
Does marriage still have future?
Well, I must say that it will still attract people to tie themselves in a wedlock. In Indonesia, especially, for women who dont feel confident to live single coz in Indonesia, it is a marriage-oriented society. People will be looked at pitifully coz they are not married yet especially after thirty years old. These inferior women to live single then will grab any guy to marry, only to be considered "normal". It indeed needs a lot of courage to be different from the rest. (Read