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@ 2006-08-11 – 17:53:33
Recently many rape offenders are offering rape victims marriage. Some victims have accepted such proposals and some marriages have already taken place in India. Theoretically there should not be any debate about marriage of two adults.
How the rape victim accepts person who has committed rape on her as husband?
Do you think it is desirable?
WPI
varshakale
Actually dropping rape charge is not allowed under Indian law I guess but the victim will depose in favour of accused.
rubber_duck
to me this is rather...wrogn and mental screwwed if you ask me. Certainly something that would be deemed strange in western societies. Generaly, is this something that is considerd okay in India or is this also something unusual?
rubber_duck
I guess to some it could be deemed desirable sexualy but also practical. I f the woman becomes pregnant it might be less embaressing and say less awkward than what it would be if she was a single mother
varshakale
It is happening in India because of stigma attached by society to rape victims, and attitude about sexual purity of women. It has become practical because of such circumstances. Is it not another kind of rape as you are helpless against societal pressure and left with no choice then to marry with rapist.
rubber_duck
That really is terrible but i can apperciate why these women feel pressured into this situation. Is there any organisation or change of opinion among society to change this?
varshakale
Many organisations have engaged in efforts. But the society changes quite slowly. It is difficult to for rape victim to get married in our society.
rubber_duck
I thought as much. I really feel for these poor women. Public oppinion does take such an swfully long time to change. At least there are people around that realise this doesn't haven to be the way and are maing efforts to change it.
varshakale
Its still long way to go though...
faffajane
Pro There is a lot to be said for our society. I can't imagine having to marry the person who raped me, scary!
varshakale
Its scary, humiliating but many people in India still consider this pragmatic approach and practical solution to end agony of rape victim.
faffajane
Pro Knowing how much rape affects you how can it end the agony of a rape victim? Ok can accept that for practical purposes it is the ideal in some societies, after all the stigma of bringing a child into the world when you are unmarried or the fact you are no longer'pure' so therefore no longer marriagable material but it is not ideal is it? How must the girl who has been raped feel? How scared must she be? sorry it opens up a lot of questions here and yet again shows up how different various societies can be. BTW you said earlier that it doesn't automatically get the rapist off the rape charge by marrying the victim so is it purely for practical purposes that they get married? So why rape the person in the first place? Is it just for personal gratification? Is it to show they are stronger? That women are weak, they have something to prove?
varshakale
Rape is always involve imposition of power. These rapists when overpowered by law seek refugee in this. The by then became so secluded from society and frustrated by long trial with no hope of new begining becomes helpless to accept such solution. Even the kins of rape victim ater initial period start blaming victim as if she is responsible for the act and resultant stigma. It is no way desirable and though it appear under circumstance practicle, it is not so. The rapist can compromise for a while to minimie his punishment but then after some time he would most probably start taking revenge for suing and imprisoning him.
faffajane
Pro That is one thought that came to me last night - what happens if the rapist takes revenge for having to marry the victim? You have answered that one. I feel sorry for hte women who have to go through this, they are definately powerless and it cannot be easy to live with. I certainly couldn't have coped with having to marry theperson who raped me.
varshakale
Even more disturbing is the fact that many times people tend to respect the person (rapist) for accepting stigmatised woman and giving her another opportunity to begin her life afresh.
faffajane
Pro Er isn't that mixed up somewhere along the line? That is sick!
varshakale
Yes it is sick.
nan29
For me personally, it is a long-lasting nightmare during all my life if I have to marry the rapist. 
varshakale
For many life is no less then nightmare...
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Sounds very convenient. Presumably the rape charge would get dropped.